Category: Uncategorized

Raising Two Different People

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sisters

My girls are almost exactly 5 years apart and just turned eight and three years old. The age difference is tough because they are into completely different things and, until now, couldn’t even carry on much of a conversation with each other. My oldest is extremely strong willed and my youngest is extremely sensitive. Competely different people! Just like so many other things in parenting, once you think you get it down, something changes.

I can relate more with my youngest’s personality. So, I “get” her actions and reactions more. But I’m also very aware of the struggles that come with heightened sensitivity and hope to build her courage, will, and sense of worth. My oldest appears to have no problem concerning self confidence, buy may need some sensitivity and gentleness training now and then. Lord, give me strength and patience.

I knew I had a strong willed child when my oldest was three.  I asked her numerous times to pick up her toys in the living room to no avail. I decided to get firm, surveyed what was on the floor, and told her that I would throw the ones she didn’t put away in the trash. She picked them up and threw them in the trash herself. She was THREE!!! What do you do with that? How on earth do I handle that strong will?? Lord, give me strength and patience.

My youngest is very sensitive. She’s a crier. Sometimes she still cries for absolutely no reason. It’s like it’s her native language….Lord, give me strength and patience.

Raising little ones doesn’t come with an instruction kit. The same discipline tactics may devastate one and not even faze the other. At least half the time I feel like I’m doing it wrong. But, I do LOVE my babies with all that I have. Their strong will and sensitivity are important parts of what make them who they are. It’s day in and day out, it’s hard, it’s humbling, it’s a daily lesson, it’s a precious gift. Lord, thank You for the strength and patience to raise two different people.

Daddies and Daughters

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daddy

This is the best list that I’ve come across to explain the importance of how much daughters look to our daddies for love in the form of approval, acceptance, grace, tenderness, and direction. We CRAVE it. Our earthly fathers have a tremendous responsibility in shaping our hearts for the future. We look to you first for acceptance and approval (especially when we mess up). We look to you to determine our self worth.

Before we learn to seek and look to our Heavenly Father for our sense of worth, we look to YOU. This is why we tend to turn to men that treat us like you do for comfort and eventually marriage. This is why it is SO important when we are young for us to truly feel your love. If you get the privilege of raising a daughter or stepdaughter, learn to love her in her language (it’s probably different than yours), show her how to be treated and what to accept and not accept from a man, fess up when you mess up (this teaches us that humility is honorable), and tell her how beautiful she is (alot)! She will ALWAYS look up to you. She will learn about who God is to her by the way you treat and value her. She will ALWAYS love you fiercely.

Here is the list:

1. How you love me is how I will love myself.
2. Ask how I am feeling and listen to my answer, I need to know you value me before I can understand my true value.
3. I learn how I should be treated by how you treat my mom, whether you are married to her or not.
4. If you are angry with me, I feel it even if I don’t understand it, so talk to me.
5. Every time you show grace to me or someone else, I learn to trust God a little more.
6. I need to experience your nurturing physical strength, so I learn to trust the physicality of men.
7. Please don’t talk about sex like a teenage boy, or I think it’s something dirty.
8. When your tone is gentle, I understand what you are saying much better.
9. How you talk about female bodies when you’re ‘just joking’ is what I believe about my own.
10. How you handle my heart, is how I will allow it to be handled by others.
11. If you encourage me to find what brings joy, I will always seek it.
12. If you teach me what safe feels like when I’m with you, I will know better how to guard myself from men who are not.
13. Teach me a love of art, science, and nature, and I will learn that intellect matters more than dress size.
14. Let me say exactly what I want even if it’s wrong or silly, because I need to know having a strong voice is acceptable to you.
15. When I get older, if you seem afraid of my changing body, I will believe something is wrong with it.
16. If you understand contentment for yourself, so will I.
17. When I ask you to let go, please remain available; I will always come back and need you if you do.
18. If you demonstrate tenderness, I learn to embrace my own vulnerability rather than fear it.
19. When you let me help fix the car and paint the house, I will believe I can do anything a boy can do.
20. When you protect my femininity, I learn everything about me is worthy of protecting.
21. How you treat our dog when you think I’m not watching tells me more about you than does just about anything else.
22. Don’t let money be everything, or I learn not to respect it or you.
23. Hug, hold, and kiss me in all the ways a daddy does that are right and good and pure. I need it so much to understand healthy touch.
24. Please don’t lie, because I believe what you say.
25. Don’t avoid hard conversations, because it makes me believe I’m not worth fighting for.

“It’s pretty simple, really. Little girls just love their daddies. They each think their daddy hung the moon. Once in a while when you look at your little gal twirling in her frilly skirt, remember she’ll be grown one day. What do you want her to know about men, life, herself, love? What you do and say now MATTERS for a lifetime. Daddies, never underestimate the impact of your words or deeds on your daughters, no matter their age.”

This is priceless information. So true!

Double Trouble

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trouble

Here on earth you WILL have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. John 16:33 (NLT)

There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. We WILL have troubles. If there is one thing we all have in common, it is that we have troubles. Pick a wallet, pick an office, pick a family, pick a marriage, pick a medical chart, and if there isn’t current trouble, there has been or will be. There’s a saying that goes “if we all threw our troubles in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.” As distressing as that might sound, it encourages me that we are in this thing together and that we aren’t struggling alone. Sometimes just thinking we are struggling alone is worse than the trouble itself. We are not alone. We have a Helper, Healer, Deliverer, Comforter, Provider who LOVES us and is fully capable of getting us through them one by one. And we have each other.

To ask for a life without troubles is to ask for heaven on earth. We aren’t in heaven yet, but what we CAN ask for is help with our troubles as they come. He WILL help, strengthen, and comfort us during our trials and sorrows. He WILL supply wisdom, power, and mercy when called upon. He WILL hear our cries and cover us with grace. He WILL open our eyes and hearts to see others as He does with compassion and forgiveness if we ask Him to. There’s no doubt that we will have troubles. The doubt lies on our side. How to deal with these troubles? Who to blame for them?

We have troubles because we are imperfect people who live in a fallen world with other imperfect people. We have hope because Jesus has overcome this world with His sacrifice. We have peace because He loves us in spite of our weaknesses. We have strength because He fights for us. We have an eternity of trouble free living to look forward to…..the ultimate paradise!

 

Angels Among Us

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angels

This week my dad came over to fix my broken television and my brother fixed my broken toilet while I was at work. What a blessing these things are in single girl world! Angels. I also received a series of texts from a friend that floored me. She nailed EXACTLY what I needed and I didn’t even know I needed it. What a blessing that is! Angel.

This week I had a patient ask to pray over me and that has NEVER happened. I’ve had patients say they’ll pray for me as I have them but after this particular patient’s test was finished she literally took my hand, looked me directly in the eyes, and said “Guard yourself against hardness of heart. God will protect what the enemy wants to steal. In the name of Jesus Christ, you will not be harmed.” Angel. Her words brought immediate tears. I didn’t even know I was struggling until she called it out. I’m so grateful for this woman’s BOLD faith and strength to speak that over me. There were no words after, only tears and hugs. It took me a good 30 minutes to just catch my breath after that. What a blessing she is! Her boldness blew me away….. Amazing faith. Amazing strength.

I received a phone call just this morning that confirmed once again that there are angels among us. Yes, we have guardian angels watching over and protecting us, but God also uses us, His children, to do His work and show His love in each other’s lives. When someone helps you, encourages you, prays for you, forgives you, shows you grace, speaks truth over you, lifts you up, they are doing God’s work here on earth. Recognize it and thank GOD for them. I am BLESSED to have a couple friends who text Bible verses to me faithfully, family who pray for me, friends who love me (all of me). These are priceless. Money can’t buy love. God graciously gives when we need it most. He gives when we don’t even KNOW we need it. Thank GOD for the seen and unseen angels in our lives.

Let Them Be Little

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little

With a mile long to-do list and shoes in the hallway, I’m reminded to “let them be little”. My youngest has started coming into my room in the middle of the night, I used to try to take her back to her room, but the crying would get so loud that it would wake my oldest. So, now I lift her up into my bed and sometimes don’t even remember doing so. I wake up to a sideways, almost three year old most mornings. And, I’m ok with it. I have started to treasure it and realize how one day I’ll truly miss it. That last sentence brought tears to my eyes.

Little ones are exhausting. We don’t sleep as well after kids. Our houses aren’t nearly or consistently as clean as before kids. Our choices and priorities change. Our eyes and hearts are opened to new loves and new fears like we never experienced before kids. We relate to other parents. We also realize how little we CAN control in their lives and how desperately we need God’s guidance, direction, and protection.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of these children you’ve blessed us with. We ask your blessings be poured out over them. Open their eyes and hearts to You. Surround them with people who will point them to You. Protect them from evil. Comfort and strengthen us parents as they make personal choices for their lives and spread their wings. Help us look to you when the sting of separation is too much to bare.

Thank You for the little one who comes to my bed at night and thank You for reminding me to let them be little. Time is precious.

Amen.

To be Still…

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still

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalms 46:10

This is my all time favorite verse. Maybe because I crave stillness so much. I don’t sit still well. If you’ve spent much time with me you’ve probably noticed. I’m the one in the church pew with my knee bouncing up and down for no apparent reason. If I’m not actually up and running around, my knee, nose, or ears are twitching. Even as I type this my foot is shaking. It’s like my body doesn’t know how to just be still. I’d LIKE to be able to sit still, it sounds really peaceful. I wonder if I ever get truly still even while I sleep?

I’m a single mother to two girls and I work full time. Needless to say, there is very little physical stillness to my days. Even on the days I don’t have my girls, I find myself busy doing things and running errands.  My personality is also very “go, go, go”. I really enjoy being active and social. But, I love the idea of stillness. Physical stillness evokes the characteristics of peace and calmness that we all crave so deeply.

When we can’t be physically still, can we be calm and at peace? Can we know that God is active right along side us? Can our souls be still amidst work, life, and kids? Can our hearts find peace when the storms rage and the questions bombard us? The answer is yes. Can we have a disagreement with a friend and be still? Yes.

Can we see 10 patients in one day, come home, make dinner, do homework, run baths, race to bed, and feel peace while doing so? Some days run smoother than others, but the answer is yes. Yes, because in those moments when we wonder “how am I supposed to do this?”, or “how do I fix this?”, or “I SURE could use some help around here!” He is there.

He calls us to “be still” because He knows our minds and bodies get weary. He’s aware of the pace and asks us to be still because He is in control. In a world where physical stillness is hard to come by, He asks us to be still and KNOW that He is GOD. Just be still…..

A Fresh Start!

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spring

Spring has arrived along with a sense of newness.

We love new things. New clothes, new cars, new jobs, new relationships, new babies, new ideas. There’s just something about newness that gives us that fresh start feeling. Inevitably, the newness does wear off and we are left with the desire for something else that is new. I know I crave a fresh start everyday. A “do over” of sorts, especially when I lose my patience in mommy world or get anxious about the future.

The steadfast love of The Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are NEW every morning; great is your faithfulness.  Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

God’s mercies are new every single morning. That’s a fresh start we can count on. The newness that returns day after day. We may take it for granted, but it’s a shame if we do because it’s a fresh start….everyday. Something to look forward to. Something to bring joy, relief, and peace. It’s the ultimate “do over”.

Let’s focus on blessings today. Blessings like a brand new healthy baby, a new friend, answered prayers, the love of family, and the encouragement from friends. Everything from quiet time with a hot cup of coffee in the morning to Abby’s smile and hearing Elle say “thank you mama” and “kisses” before bed are all such precious and personal blessings to me!  We each have our very own.

I am guilty of paying more attention to what I lack than what I have. I want a fresh start and forgiveness from that. I want to focus on what God graciously GIVES because He does and He LOVES to do so. Let’s all take the time to count our blessings and recognize His gifts.

Spring has definitely sprung in Texas so let’s all thank God for fresh flowers, fresh rain, fresh air, and fresh starts!

Guard Your Heart

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heart

I have an interesting career. I look at people’s hearts all day using ultrasound. Just like any job, it can get monotonous after 14 years, but today I’m reminded of how interesting it really is.

We check the heart function of every patient by assessing their ejection fraction. A heart’s normal ejection fraction is about 65%. When we come across a patient with a 5-10% ejection fraction, their heart is barely squeezing. Sometimes their heart function is so weak, I catch myself looking over to make sure they are still breathing even though I just walked with them from the lobby to my lab to run the test.

It’s truly amazing that the body can still function with a heart that is barely squeezing. But, it happens, and our doctors treat it all the time.

One thing I have noticed over the years is that my sickest patients also tend to be the most kind, gracious, and patient people. Not always, but most of the time. Maybe because they know they are sick, maybe because they are grateful for the healthcare, maybe because they have adjusted their priorities, or maybe because they’ve made peace with themselves and others.

It’s very interesting to me that the people with the “broken” hearts that barely squeeze can touch our hearts and spirits in such a tender way. We listen and pay more attention when we see how poorly their hearts are functioning. Wouldn’t it be interesting if we could “see” how people’s hearts have been broken, betrayed, rejected, mended, or even revived in our daily lives?

Maybe that’s why we pay more attention when we know what someone has been through and what their story is. Everyone has a story.

I can visualize a person’s heart function with my ultrasound machine any day but I can’t “see” what that heart has been through. Our hearts are physically and spiritually our most prized possessions and worthy of the utmost protection.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

I work with some extremely intelligent doctors who can treat your heart if it needs physical healing, but I know that God is the ultimate healer. He alone is the great physician and heart surgeon. Let Him hold and heal your heart.

Trust Him when people come and go from your life (because they will) and remember that He’s not going anywhere (because He won’t). He created and designed our hearts, that alone makes them worthy of protection.

That’s a Lie!

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whisper

The devil is a liar. He has always been a liar. He lied to Eve, he lied to Jesus, and he lies to us. In John 8:44, Jesus says this about the devil “when he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and a father of lies.” His lies are fuel for low self esteem, insecurity, and fear. If we can identify these lies and counter them with the truth, we are headed in the right direction. The devil’s lies put us in bondage. He strives to keep us there, but God’s truth will set us free. Here are a few of the lies the devil loves to literally pummel me with, maybe you can relate. Or maybe just putting them out there in black and white will remind me the next time he’s in my ear. He loves to do that.

  • Nobody cares what you have to say
  • It’s all your fault
  • If he didn’t want you, no one will
  • You’re a bad mom
  • You’re a burden
  • You are not worthy of real love

Ouch! I know they are hard to read, they are even harder to hear. I’m putting them out there, because I KNOW they are lies. Every single one of them are lies straight from the devil and I want you to know they are too. Don’t let him steal or destroy one more day of the abundant life God desires for you to live. Bring the lies to the light and watch the darkness disappear. Know that you aren’t alone. God knows the devil is a liar. He lied his way right out of Heaven.

When these or other lies are whispered in your ear just as they were to Eve, recognize them for what they are. They are NOT the truth, they are lies. Turn to God and ask Him who you are to him. Ask him how precious you are and remember that he DIED for you. Jesus’s life and death points us to the truth and the truth is that God would rather send his own son to die for us than to live without us for eternity. There are a few people on this earth that I would die for, but I can’t think of any that I would lay either of my children down for. That’s an unfathomable love. Remember THAT love when the lies come back….. because they will.

I can’t wait for heaven when the ultimate liar is silenced forever and we can live in the peace and splendor of God’s presence with zero shame, guilt, fear or lies. Now, that’s heaven!

One of THOSE Days…

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anchor

This is all about when you’re having one of those days. One of those days when the tears come and you may not even know why. Those days when you find it hard to breathe and have lost your center. Those days when something or nothing may set you off. One of those days when you feel the need to lash out or hunker down. Just one of those days….

On those days when we feel like we are literally hanging on by a thread. Those days when our prayers feel like they are bouncing off the ceiling and we don’t know where to turn for relief. We may feel like we are completely alone, just know that you aren’t.

Reach out to a friend or take some time alone…..whatever your soul may need to rest. Pray and cry out if you need to. Visualize the thread you’re hanging on to and replace it in your mind’s eye with an anchor. Hold on to that anchor for dear life and when you can get a hold of it, take a seat. Sit in the rock solid bend of that anchor and let God hold you.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm, and secure. Hebrews 6:19

I love to be known as happy and smiling all the time. His joy is truly a wonderful thing! But, today I had one of those days. Tonight, I will let Him rock me to sleep on His anchor. Tonight, I will trust that He hears me even if it doesn’t feel like it. Tonight, I will remind you that you are not alone on those days. We have each other and like a very sweet friend reminded us a couple weeks ago in Bible study “we are all just walking each other home.”

Let’s shower each other with grace, love, and understanding. Let’s celebrate the good times and comfort each other in the bad. Let’s remind each other that God loves us anyway, even though, and just as much as He always has.

Love is the hope that anchors our souls.