Angels Among Us

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angels

This week my dad came over to fix my broken television and my brother fixed my broken toilet while I was at work. What a blessing these things are in single girl world! Angels. I also received a series of texts from a friend that floored me. She nailed EXACTLY what I needed and I didn’t even know I needed it. What a blessing that is! Angel.

This week I had a patient ask to pray over me and that has NEVER happened. I’ve had patients say they’ll pray for me as I have them but after this particular patient’s test was finished she literally took my hand, looked me directly in the eyes, and said “Guard yourself against hardness of heart. God will protect what the enemy wants to steal. In the name of Jesus Christ, you will not be harmed.” Angel. Her words brought immediate tears. I didn’t even know I was struggling until she called it out. I’m so grateful for this woman’s BOLD faith and strength to speak that over me. There were no words after, only tears and hugs. It took me a good 30 minutes to just catch my breath after that. What a blessing she is! Her boldness blew me away….. Amazing faith. Amazing strength.

I received a phone call just this morning that confirmed once again that there are angels among us. Yes, we have guardian angels watching over and protecting us, but God also uses us, His children, to do His work and show His love in each other’s lives. When someone helps you, encourages you, prays for you, forgives you, shows you grace, speaks truth over you, lifts you up, they are doing God’s work here on earth. Recognize it and thank GOD for them. I am BLESSED to have a couple friends who text Bible verses to me faithfully, family who pray for me, friends who love me (all of me). These are priceless. Money can’t buy love. God graciously gives when we need it most. He gives when we don’t even KNOW we need it. Thank GOD for the seen and unseen angels in our lives.

Let Them Be Little

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With a mile long to-do list and shoes in the hallway, I’m reminded to “let them be little”. My youngest has started coming into my room in the middle of the night, I used to try to take her back to her room, but the crying would get so loud that it would wake my oldest. So, now I lift her up into my bed and sometimes don’t even remember doing so. I wake up to a sideways, almost three year old most mornings. And, I’m ok with it. I have started to treasure it and realize how one day I’ll truly miss it. That last sentence brought tears to my eyes.

Little ones are exhausting. We don’t sleep as well after kids. Our houses aren’t nearly or consistently as clean as before kids. Our choices and priorities change. Our eyes and hearts are opened to new loves and new fears like we never experienced before kids. We relate to other parents. We also realize how little we CAN control in their lives and how desperately we need God’s guidance, direction, and protection.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of these children you’ve blessed us with. We ask your blessings be poured out over them. Open their eyes and hearts to You. Surround them with people who will point them to You. Protect them from evil. Comfort and strengthen us parents as they make personal choices for their lives and spread their wings. Help us look to you when the sting of separation is too much to bare.

Thank You for the little one who comes to my bed at night and thank You for reminding me to let them be little. Time is precious.

Amen.

To be Still…

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Be still, and know that I am God. Psalms 46:10

This is my all time favorite verse. Maybe because I crave stillness so much. I don’t sit still well. If you’ve spent much time with me you’ve probably noticed. I’m the one in the church pew with my knee bouncing up and down for no apparent reason. If I’m not actually up and running around, my knee, nose, or ears are twitching. Even as I type this my foot is shaking. It’s like my body doesn’t know how to just be still. I’d LIKE to be able to sit still, it sounds really peaceful. I wonder if I ever get truly still even while I sleep?

I’m a single mother to two girls and I work full time. Needless to say, there is very little physical stillness to my days. Even on the days I don’t have my girls, I find myself busy doing things and running errands.  My personality is also very “go, go, go”. I really enjoy being active and social. But, I love the idea of stillness. Physical stillness evokes the characteristics of peace and calmness that we all crave so deeply.

When we can’t be physically still, can we be calm and at peace? Can we know that God is active right along side us? Can our souls be still amidst work, life, and kids? Can our hearts find peace when the storms rage and the questions bombard us? The answer is yes. Can we have a disagreement with a friend and be still? Yes.

Can we see 10 patients in one day, come home, make dinner, do homework, run baths, race to bed, and feel peace while doing so? Some days run smoother than others, but the answer is yes. Yes, because in those moments when we wonder “how am I supposed to do this?”, or “how do I fix this?”, or “I SURE could use some help around here!” He is there.

He calls us to “be still” because He knows our minds and bodies get weary. He’s aware of the pace and asks us to be still because He is in control. In a world where physical stillness is hard to come by, He asks us to be still and KNOW that He is GOD. Just be still…..

A Fresh Start!

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Spring has arrived along with a sense of newness.

We love new things. New clothes, new cars, new jobs, new relationships, new babies, new ideas. There’s just something about newness that gives us that fresh start feeling. Inevitably, the newness does wear off and we are left with the desire for something else that is new. I know I crave a fresh start everyday. A “do over” of sorts, especially when I lose my patience in mommy world or get anxious about the future.

The steadfast love of The Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are NEW every morning; great is your faithfulness.  Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

God’s mercies are new every single morning. That’s a fresh start we can count on. The newness that returns day after day. We may take it for granted, but it’s a shame if we do because it’s a fresh start….everyday. Something to look forward to. Something to bring joy, relief, and peace. It’s the ultimate “do over”.

Let’s focus on blessings today. Blessings like a brand new healthy baby, a new friend, answered prayers, the love of family, and the encouragement from friends. Everything from quiet time with a hot cup of coffee in the morning to Abby’s smile and hearing Elle say “thank you mama” and “kisses” before bed are all such precious and personal blessings to me!  We each have our very own.

I am guilty of paying more attention to what I lack than what I have. I want a fresh start and forgiveness from that. I want to focus on what God graciously GIVES because He does and He LOVES to do so. Let’s all take the time to count our blessings and recognize His gifts.

Spring has definitely sprung in Texas so let’s all thank God for fresh flowers, fresh rain, fresh air, and fresh starts!

Guard Your Heart

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heart

I have an interesting career. I look at people’s hearts all day using ultrasound. Just like any job, it can get monotonous after 14 years, but today I’m reminded of how interesting it really is.

We check the heart function of every patient by assessing their ejection fraction. A heart’s normal ejection fraction is about 65%. When we come across a patient with a 5-10% ejection fraction, their heart is barely squeezing. Sometimes their heart function is so weak, I catch myself looking over to make sure they are still breathing even though I just walked with them from the lobby to my lab to run the test.

It’s truly amazing that the body can still function with a heart that is barely squeezing. But, it happens, and our doctors treat it all the time.

One thing I have noticed over the years is that my sickest patients also tend to be the most kind, gracious, and patient people. Not always, but most of the time. Maybe because they know they are sick, maybe because they are grateful for the healthcare, maybe because they have adjusted their priorities, or maybe because they’ve made peace with themselves and others.

It’s very interesting to me that the people with the “broken” hearts that barely squeeze can touch our hearts and spirits in such a tender way. We listen and pay more attention when we see how poorly their hearts are functioning. Wouldn’t it be interesting if we could “see” how people’s hearts have been broken, betrayed, rejected, mended, or even revived in our daily lives?

Maybe that’s why we pay more attention when we know what someone has been through and what their story is. Everyone has a story.

I can visualize a person’s heart function with my ultrasound machine any day but I can’t “see” what that heart has been through. Our hearts are physically and spiritually our most prized possessions and worthy of the utmost protection.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

I work with some extremely intelligent doctors who can treat your heart if it needs physical healing, but I know that God is the ultimate healer. He alone is the great physician and heart surgeon. Let Him hold and heal your heart.

Trust Him when people come and go from your life (because they will) and remember that He’s not going anywhere (because He won’t). He created and designed our hearts, that alone makes them worthy of protection.

That’s a Lie!

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The devil is a liar. He has always been a liar. He lied to Eve, he lied to Jesus, and he lies to us. In John 8:44, Jesus says this about the devil “when he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and a father of lies.” His lies are fuel for low self esteem, insecurity, and fear. If we can identify these lies and counter them with the truth, we are headed in the right direction. The devil’s lies put us in bondage. He strives to keep us there, but God’s truth will set us free. Here are a few of the lies the devil loves to literally pummel me with, maybe you can relate. Or maybe just putting them out there in black and white will remind me the next time he’s in my ear. He loves to do that.

  • Nobody cares what you have to say
  • It’s all your fault
  • If he didn’t want you, no one will
  • You’re a bad mom
  • You’re a burden
  • You are not worthy of real love

Ouch! I know they are hard to read, they are even harder to hear. I’m putting them out there, because I KNOW they are lies. Every single one of them are lies straight from the devil and I want you to know they are too. Don’t let him steal or destroy one more day of the abundant life God desires for you to live. Bring the lies to the light and watch the darkness disappear. Know that you aren’t alone. God knows the devil is a liar. He lied his way right out of Heaven.

When these or other lies are whispered in your ear just as they were to Eve, recognize them for what they are. They are NOT the truth, they are lies. Turn to God and ask Him who you are to him. Ask him how precious you are and remember that he DIED for you. Jesus’s life and death points us to the truth and the truth is that God would rather send his own son to die for us than to live without us for eternity. There are a few people on this earth that I would die for, but I can’t think of any that I would lay either of my children down for. That’s an unfathomable love. Remember THAT love when the lies come back….. because they will.

I can’t wait for heaven when the ultimate liar is silenced forever and we can live in the peace and splendor of God’s presence with zero shame, guilt, fear or lies. Now, that’s heaven!

One of THOSE Days…

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anchor

This is all about when you’re having one of those days. One of those days when the tears come and you may not even know why. Those days when you find it hard to breathe and have lost your center. Those days when something or nothing may set you off. One of those days when you feel the need to lash out or hunker down. Just one of those days….

On those days when we feel like we are literally hanging on by a thread. Those days when our prayers feel like they are bouncing off the ceiling and we don’t know where to turn for relief. We may feel like we are completely alone, just know that you aren’t.

Reach out to a friend or take some time alone…..whatever your soul may need to rest. Pray and cry out if you need to. Visualize the thread you’re hanging on to and replace it in your mind’s eye with an anchor. Hold on to that anchor for dear life and when you can get a hold of it, take a seat. Sit in the rock solid bend of that anchor and let God hold you.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm, and secure. Hebrews 6:19

I love to be known as happy and smiling all the time. His joy is truly a wonderful thing! But, today I had one of those days. Tonight, I will let Him rock me to sleep on His anchor. Tonight, I will trust that He hears me even if it doesn’t feel like it. Tonight, I will remind you that you are not alone on those days. We have each other and like a very sweet friend reminded us a couple weeks ago in Bible study “we are all just walking each other home.”

Let’s shower each other with grace, love, and understanding. Let’s celebrate the good times and comfort each other in the bad. Let’s remind each other that God loves us anyway, even though, and just as much as He always has.

Love is the hope that anchors our souls.

Meekness is Not Weakness

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Matthew 5:5 says: Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. The definition of meek is “quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on; submissive.”  These are all wonderful and endearing character traits. As wives, we are called to be a gentle quiet spirit and submissive to our husbands. This makes it very hard to know when and HOW to stand up for ourselves properly and respectfully in a God pleasing way.

2 Timothy 1:7 says For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline. Amen! This tells me that the Holy Spirit will speak to us and give us the words and strength to stand up, speak up, and make necessary changes. He has done this for me and I pray He continues to. Do not mistake meekness, kindness, or humility for weakness. It takes a lot more strength to respond with these virtues in certain situations than it does to retaliate in anger and hostility. We are not called to be doormats, but we are called to demonstrate self control. It’s a delicate balance.

When we do stand up, the relationship may end. We may get rejected. We may even get blamed. But, when we wonder what decisions to make, it helps immensely to ask ourselves what decision we would want our children to make if they were in the same situation.  We would never want them to be walked on, disrespected, or used. They are much too valuable! They deserve better! Well, so do we. God sees us the same way, we are His children. His spirit WILL give us the wisdom, power, and words to stand up when necessary and there are times when it IS necessary.

That She’s Happy!

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happy

Today was such a beautiful spring day that I took my girls for a roll around the neighborhood in their little red wagon when I got home from work. Just strolling along and chatting…good times. I threw out a question that I don’t think I’ve ever asked before….”Abby, what’s your favorite thing about Elle?” She thought for a few seconds and responded “that she’s cute?” I laughed because she does comment on her cute face a lot. I threw the question out to Elle. “What’s your favorite thing about Abby?” Elle thought a little longer and came back with “that she’s crazy!” Another great answer, that’s about right! After a couple minutes more of rolling down the sidewalk, I swallowed hard and asked “what’s your favorite thing about Mommy?” admittedly nervous about what their answers may be. Without a second to spare little Elle chimed in “that’s she’s happy!” What a blessing!! Her answer made me so happy.

Our kids bring us immeasurable joy. But, I wondered if they may view me as more tired, stressed, worried, nervous, or rushed than happy. Thank God she sees me happy! The truth is we have so much to be grateful for and so much to be happy about. It got me thinking, when I’m gone how would I want my kids to remember me? The answer is happy. Her answer warmed my heart and soul today. I’m so thankful for God’s graces in mommy world. His graces and my girls make me happy!

The Cards We Carry

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cards

I’ve been a card-carrying people lover my whole life. I’ve had teachers and other adults in my life tell me that if there was a new student in school or someone who looked like they were having a bad day, I would be the first to befriend them or try to cheer them up. I really do love people. It pangs me to see them hurt, sad, alone, or scared. All good things! But, with people loving comes the major struggle of people pleasing. Pleasing other people is wonderful UNTIL we need to stand up for ourselves. This is where the rubber hits the road. There’s a big difference between being a people lover and a people pleaser. People love to be pleased, but that’s not always healthy for either party.

I realize now that I have also been a card-carrying member of the codependance club. By the grace of God alone, I am healing and growing. I still backslide, but I KNOW where my help comes from. My help comes from The Lord. Codependance is the perfect breeding ground for abusive and toxic relationships. We “make peace” by rolling over and letting the other person have their way. BUT, what if their behavior is not appropriate? What if they are not showing love or respect and we continue to roll? What I have learned is that allowing bad behavior to continue in order to “make peace” is not truly keeping the peace at all. Being a true peacemaker is being at peace with God, others, AND ourselves. Allowing mistreatment to continue is not making true peace with any of these three.

We need to love ourselves enough as children of the Living God to stand up for ourselves and others in HIS strength.  This is SO hard for a people pleaser! It’s like battling any other addiction. What makes it SO difficult is that we LOVE people and we want to get along so badly that we fear standing up for ourselves will lead to being rejected, the loss of the relationship, and/or being blamed for the conflict or the loss. Can’t we ALL just get along?? The answer is nope, not always. We are not called to agree with everyone, but we are called to be mindful of how we disagree.

We can’t control all the cards we are dealt in life, but we can ask God to replace the cards we tend to carry around and how to deal with the ones we are dealt.