Tag: Bible

Forgiveness Is For Us.

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I’m a peacemaker at heart. I always “feel” better when everyone is getting along. I’ve been told, even as a child, that I’d go to the kid who was feeling left out. And that I was the first to welcome new ones at school, church, and so on. It’s in my nature to seek out, attempt to bond, and to forgive.

The message at church today was exactly what I needed to hear personally regarding forgiveness. I’ve always heard forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. I’ve also heard it has nothing to do with the other person, especially if they haven’t even apologized. Where I struggled was that in my mind, if I’d done the hard part of forgiving and the relationship didn’t improve or change immediately afterward, I was left thinking I hadn’t done it “right” or that something was missing on my part. Like, I still hadn’t done enough.

Today, we heard a speaker at church explain this in a way I needed to hear. To help me understand. She explained how forgiving her multiple abusers as a young girl didn’t mean the abuse would stop. She still needed to remove herself and be protected by others. Forgiveness freed her, but reconciliation wasn’t on her shoulders. Reconciliation could only come with an acknowledgement of wrongdoing, genuine repentance from the offender, and measures taken to rebuild trust over time on her terms.

To this day, not one of her abusers has actually apologized to her. But still, she has forgiven. By doing so, she clips the roots of bitterness each time they attempt to take root by forgiving… again. Seventy times seven.

She knows she didn’t deserve it. She knows the people who said it was her fault or “no big deal” needed forgiveness just as much as her abusers did. She knew, even at a young age, that it was not okay. And, she knows now as an adult, that her forgiveness doesn’t mean it all of a sudden is. It’s still not OK. But, forgiven in her heart. So, her heart can remain pure and a vessel for our Father’s Grace. Forgiving them as Christ has forgiven her. We all fall short. They may hide their faces from her like we hide our faces from God when we’ve sinned against Him. Like Adam and Eve did in the garden. But her heart and face glow in the light of Jesus’s love and forgiveness, even for them.

There are some situations where forgiveness and reconciliation can happen. That’s beautiful and that’s biblical. There are other situations where forgiveness can happen, but reconciliation does not. That is also biblical. The other person may not even think they need forgiveness. The other person may have justified their actions entirely in their mind, leaving the offended feeling at fault for even being offended in the first place. This is not a place where reconciliation is healthy. But forgiveness always is. That’s between you and God. Freeing you to love anyway, from wherever you need to.

Most of the offenses done to us are far less traumatic than sexual abuse, but here this woman was expressing how His Grace allowed healing even there. Little by little, small(er) things add up and take root. A root of bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, resentment, turning our hearts to stone. This leads to stubbornness, a lack of empathy, and a connection with God and others. Not only does it affect the offended, but it can also be passed on through generations. Through forgiveness, Jesus offers us a heart of flesh all over again. Just as He designed it. The abundant and loved life…even though and anyway.

What the Lord opened my heart and mind to today was that just because a relationship doesn’t improve or change after I decide to forgive, it doesn’t mean I haven’t opened my heart to forgiveness enough. Jesus covers. That person’s heart hasn’t necessarily changed or softened just because mine has. That’s between them and God. When both hearts can be changed and softened, reconciliation is possible. With no accountability, reconciliation is not.

Forgiveness is for us. Reconciliation is available if both parties are willing to put in the necessary effort to make it happen. And, if not, it doesn’t mean the forgiver hasn’t forgiven “enough”. There is no shame or condemnation for those in Jesus Christ, only redemption. A new thing has come; let it.

How Can it Be?

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I feel compelled to compare the stories of Mary, an unwed virgin girl, without the past she knew necessary to conceive with the woman at the well who had a past she felt was unredeemable. Both found favor with God. Both were amazed at what God saw in them and trusted them with. Both left wondering “How can it be”? He blessed them both with His presence in a way that no other man could.

When Mary was visited by the angel and told that she would conceive the Son of God, her response was “But how can this happen? I am a virgin.” (Luke 1:34 NLT) He picked her because it was inconceivable any other way. She knew the questions that would come. She knew this was impossible any other way, and still, she conceded with “May everything you’ve told me come true”. Basically, Your will be done.

When Jesus visited the woman at the well, He came with truth, grace, and salvation. Even in her shame. Even with her past of being with “too many men” and looked down upon by the people around her, He found favor in her and wanted her to know it.

Even His disciples were confused that He engaged with her.  Just then his disciples came back. They were shocked to find him talking to a woman, but none of them had the nerve to ask, “What do you want with her?” or “Why are you talking to her?” (John 4:27 NLT) Yet, He did. And He left her elated and excited that He knew her story…all of it.

The woman said, “I know the Messiah is coming—the one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Then Jesus told her, “I am the Messiah!” (John 4:25-26 NLT) Black and white, face to face, He shared with her. A woman with a past and currently living with a man who was not her husband. This is the Grace and Truth that changes us.

The Bible doesn’t say, but I bet she went home and changed. I bet she reflected on who she had encountered that day and was inspired to “Go and to sin no more”. Not because she was condemned by Him, but because she was convicted by Who He was and who she was to Him. That’s true conviction. I bet she changed because of His mercy and strength.

Mary’s physical body and story changed because she found favor with the Lord. The woman at the well’s heart and life changed because Jesus shared His truth alongside hers. Not to shame, but to prove that we know we can’t be completely loved without being fully known.

Whether you are a person without the past you think necessary to be used by God (like Mary) or a person with the past that you think has ruined your life, Jesus sees, knows, and loves you to the cross and to change. With or without your past, not only can it be, but it is done.

Amen!

To Seek His Face?

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hideandseek

What does it mean to “Seek His face”? I woke up this morning with the strong inclination to do just that. “Seek Me. Seek My face.”

I play hide and seek with my girls and they squeal with excitement as they search and find me. It’s fun! The looks on their faces are priceless. Their eyes are wide as saucers when they find me and their laughs are contagious. I think a game of hide and seek is in our very near future. I feel the same way when I hear from God and even more when He blesses me with the courage and strength to obey. It’s in these moments that I imagine He may squeal with delight too. They tend to feel so few and far between…..

Look to The Lord and His strength; seek His face always. Psalms 105:5

Remember the cultural phenomenon “what would Jesus do”? This saying was about seeking Him. Seek His will. Seek His words. Seek His wisdom. Seek His character in any given situation. To seek means to search for, to discover, to look for, to ask for…To seek can be grueling. To seek can be hard work. We may not necessarily like what we find because it’s not the “easy” thing to do. We may be so scared of what could be found, that we stop seeking altogether. But, to seek His face is the prize. His face is the pot at the end of our rainbow and well worth searching for. Matter of fact, His face IS the rainbow after the storm.

Ask and it will be given you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7

I don’t think this verse means we will always get exactly what we ask for. I believe it means that if we are seeking Him, we will find Him. Being the perfect parent He is, He won’t give us everything we ask for. In His ultimate mercy and wisdom, He gives us what’s best for us. No matter the circumstance, He is always best for us. He is the prize. Ask, seek, search, grow….

One of God’s favorite “hiding places” (if you’re seeking Him) is in the Bible. It’s His love letter to us. It’s His instruction booklet and owner’s manual. His word is there for our own good, not to punish us. His word is there because He loves us, not to condemn us. His word is there to instruct and direct us, not to force us. It’s there to convict us, not to shame us. Seek and you shall find.