Tag: jesus

Human to Human

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If we want others to allow for our humanness, we need to allow others theirs as well.

We need to let people in on the bad and the good. If you have a problem sharing either of these with someone, pay attention to that. It’s God warning and directing you. To the ones you can share the good and the bad, give extra thanks.

We should still love the ones we can’t with, but God gives us certain ones to share both with on a deep level. The deep hards and the really high goods. He gives those who will genuinely feel with you and for you. These are some of your biggest gifts.

If someone won’t admit their humanness with me, I’m no longer comfortable sharing mine. I’ll just take it to God, because I know He gets it. It takes humility to share the bad and courage to share the good. Some only want to hear the bad stuff for juice to share with others and some can’t handle the good because it might make you look better than they are comfortable with to others.

Because we can go through many people in our lives before these people surface, feelings get hurt. If someone was this to you in the past, they were a gift then. Their time has just lapsed. And, that can hurt when we thought it never would. Wish them love, peace, and all things good.

Head up, soldier. Look around. Check your phone. Who is there for you? Who can you celebrate wins with AND share your struggles? I pray it’s someone on this fallen earth too. We need earthly lovers and defenders too.

Yes, God has promised to never leave us or forsake us. But, our Father gives good gifts and He provides. Even before we know we need it. Think of Zacchaeus and the tree he climbed just to get a glimpse of Jesus. That tree was planted long before he needed it.

Do we get frustrated with our kids’ humanness? Are we parents also humans? Do we want grace for our humanity? Remember this as we are all humans living in a messed up world.

God is bigger. He sent His Son (God in the flesh) to die for us. For humans. He became one just to do so. He felt thirst, sadness, hunger, grief, separation…None of which He had to. But still, He came from heaven to live as a human so that we could join Him in heaven for eternity. That’s how much He loves and understands ALL of us humans.

Living Water…

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I’ve been watching “The Chosen” with my husband and marveling at Jesus. Wondering where He is in the scene. Looking for Him and wondering when He’ll show up on the screen. Thankful each time He does. My heart goes out to Him as I watch His heart go out to others.

Some have issues with the show, but just like any church full of people, there can be no perfect one. No perfect recreation of our Creator. Only He is perfect and can translate scripture perfectly.

Still, the show makes me thirsty. Thirsty for more of Jesus. And, isn’t that always good and what He wants? God uses us, imperfect ones to point to Him. He’s looking for our hearts. Too often, our heads get in the way.

We watched the scene with the woman at the well. He told her all she had done. And rather than get angry or blame Him for the hard times that she had been through, she rejoiced. She beamed. She felt nothing but joy and amazement.

She wasn’t embarrassed that this man could tell her every man she’d been with and why. She was filled with joy and relief that He MUST be who He said He was. Who she (and so many others) had been waiting on. She couldn’t wait to tell anyone who would listen! That He “told her everything she had done.”

When others pointed out her past, she’d grown cold, angry, bitter, and mad at their rejection and disgust of what she’d done.

But, when Jesus did. Pure joy.

He told her and then accepted her. He told her so that she would believe. Only then could she also believe He loved her and that He was the One she was looking for. He told her her past with love in His eyes.

Love and Truth that she couldn’t deny.

He didn’t tell her to condemn, but to reveal His heart and love for her. “You’ve done this (you fill in the blank). Not only do I know, I know why you did it and I love you.”

The devil tells us our past so that we can feel despair and hopelessness. Jesus tells us so that we can know He loves us anyway and still.

What a stark difference. Water for our parched souls, so refreshing. What we’re all searching for and need every day. Just like we need water to drink.

Jesus told this Samaritan woman at the well that He is “Living Water”. That if she comes to Him, she’ll never be thirsty again. Trying to get through to her that the water at the well (as vital as it is) was different than the water He offers.

He offers our answer. We need physical water for our bodies. He is the water our souls need.

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” –John 4:13-14 (NIV)

As Christians, we are told that we are to be salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13).

Salt creates thirst physically. Most of us need a drink after pretzels or potato chips. And we are to create thirst spiritually (salt). Create a thirst for Him by how we live, how we love, and how we admit our faults and weaknesses.

When He says we will never be thirsty again, I wonder if this means when we are with Him in heaven. Because, even though I’ve accepted Him here, I stay thirsty. Thirsty for more of Him. Wanting to be where He is. Wanting to talk with Him. Reading, watching, looking for Him. I want more of Him. I pray I help others to as well.

Salt and Living Water. Salt makes us thirsty. He offers Living Water that we may never thirst again.

Interesting.

The more I get and learn of Him, the more I want. Thirsty. His Kingdom, once again, turns us upside down in our world.

He knows what I’ve done and He loves me. Same for you. He knows and has compassion for us. He wants us to look to Him and marvel. He wants us to know that not only does He know, He also did what He did for us BECAUSE He knows. He loves us that much.

Stay thirsty, my friend. For more of Him. The Living Water.

One day, only He will quench our thirst. Eternal life with Him. Because here, I just can’t get enough. More and more of You, Jesus…

Loving the Answer

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I’ve learned that sometimes when we think our problems are other people, what we are actually struggling with is our own sin.

When things get really sad for a long time. Ask God why.

In His loving ways, sometimes He lets it sit longer until we’re actually willing and ready to hear His answer.

Are we jealous? Are we greedy? Are we hurt by something else and displacing it? Are we telling the truth?

No one can take certain things away from you. Who you are. Who you gave birth to. How God made you. How much God loves you.

Are you sad because you feel you’re losing people? Have you done something to hurt them? If so, correct it if possible. If not, let life run it’s course. Let people go and ask God who He has for you.

Are you sad because kids are choosing friends over you? That’s normal. Both ways.

If someone else told me I was jealous, I wouldn’t want to hear it. It would make me angry and defensive. But, when God does, it’s the most loving thing He can do. Because then, I can address, confess, and surrender it. “Lord, take this jealousy. Lord, forgive me. Help me with it.”

I’ve written about how Jesus is the Answer. His answers to our human struggles are given in His Love too. To help us.

Do we need to forgive someone…again? Something we thought we’d already done, but then the sadness takes over. Why?

He will graciously and mercifully share with our hearts when we are ready to hear His answer. “My precious child, this is making you sad.”

Thank you, sweet Jesus, for You and Your answers. When we know Your character, we appreciate your admonishment.

End of the World?

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I like to take walks when my schedule allows during my workday. The fresh air is wonderful and the sunshine warms my face and fingers. It feels good to get the blood moving when I’m in a cold office all day. Usually, I’m listening to music. This particular day, I was listening to Christina Aguilera, singing, knowing I sounded nothing like her and also glad I didn’t care.

Walking, I noticed the sky. A beautiful path of sunshine shining through a darker cloud. Breathtaking, but also a pale comparison to what I imagine the clouds will look like when Jesus returns. When the skies open up for all to see. When life as we know it will be forever changed for those who believe. Our bodies made new, our debts paid, and our future secure in His presence forever and always. The end of our world.

I took a quick picture and kept walking, thinking about that glorious day in our future. I sampled a few filters on my photo but went back to none. It looked the best. A glimpse of Glory in real life.

As I continued to walk, I noticed cars driving into a recreation center nearby. It was surrounded by political signs and I saw a line of people waiting to get in. It was the line to vote.

This year, 2020, has been tumultuous, to say the least. So much unrest. So much change. Unprecedented closures and restrictions. Viruses and protests. Anger and sadness. Fear and change. Loss and political bias.

This year’s election feels exceptionally electrically charged. Emotional. Like it is THE cause and THE cure for all our problems. Like the outcome of this election may very well be the end of the world to many. Like they won’t be able to bear living here if one or the other is elected. Both sides. Like it’s the end of the world.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t vote. I’m not saying our votes don’t matter or make a difference. I’m just saying the outcome is not the true end of the world.

I feel like God pointed out the legit end of this world to me when He drew my attention to that little bit of sky opening. Like His kind heart was reminding me and hoping to remind others, that what seems so important and life-altering won’t change one iota of His plan for us.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:4-5 (ERV)

THIS will be the true end of our world.

With voters in line on my right and the sky opening on my left, perspective was graciously given. An eternal perspective. A reminder that God is bigger still. Just like the picture I took shows a glimpse of what His return will be like, this election pales in comparison to what His plans for us are. Regardless of who gets elected. God already knows and His plans won’t be deterred because of it.

The devil would love for us to think that whoever our next president is will fix everything or ruin everything. And hang our lives on it. But, just like the rest of us, they are both fallen human beings too. And they won’t have all the answers or perfect solutions.

Problems will still be here. Death will still be here. Crime will still be here. Corrupt cops will still be here. Racists will still be here. Because sin will still be here.

Our country’s next president pales in comparison to what God did for us and will do for us through His Son, Jesus Christ. HE is bigger than all this and HE is coming back and bringing with Him the real end of this world.

May we lean into that joy and promise when the grief, confusion, or disappointment of this year takes hold. The enemy wants us to think the end of our world is coming on November 4th, the day after. My gut tells me we’ll still be counting or recounting ballots, although I hope not. My gut and my Bible also tells me things will only get worse after this election. Regardless of who is elected. Until His glorious return. That’s how it’s written. But, for those of us who claim Jesus as our Savior, we GET to look forward to those clouds parting. When it’s all said and done. When God says so.

So, for those who think the world will end if your guy isn’t elected, I say “I hope so!!” Because that means the clouds will open and future elections and airborne viruses will be no more. And we’ll be on our way to a place where donkeys and elephants will lie as peacefully together as lions and lambs. With the rest of God’s creations.

Continue reading “End of the World?” →

Rockabye

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When I had babies in the house, by favorite time of the day was rocking them before bed. I’d hit rush hour traffic to get to them as soon as I could, make dinner during “witching hour”, and put them in the bath. As soon as that lotion and sweet baby smell took over, pacifier was popped in, and it was time to rock. Just baby and me.

This was when we could both get still and quiet. Sometimes, it took longer to settle down, but most of the time, once we hit that rocking recliner with jammies on, it was time for us both to chill.

I think about how this must also be God’s favorite times with us, when we rest in His arms and let Him rock us. He’s there for all of it. The hard times, the rushing, the washing, the crying, but in those precious moments when we let Him hold us, I imagine how happy it must make Him too.

As parents, holding our sweet smelling and contented babies, is when we can look past all the rushing and worries, and know it’s worth it. Sweetest times ever were holding my baby girls and feeling them relax into my arms. I miss it.

I know our Father in heaven must too.

We can do this anywhere. At our desk, in our beds, in our car. Let Him hold you. Let Him rock you. You are His precious child and that has never changed.

It’s Not “Supposed” to Be This Way..

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I write a lot about the difficulties of divorce. So many get them without considering the consequences. Some know full well and some are clueless. As a child of it and an adult who went through it, I want to clue some of you in.

Some sign in tears gasping for breath and some easily and nonchalantly sign papers. Some spend their retirement fighting for custody and some need a push accepting the inevitable. Some hire detectives and some throw parties. Some wake up and some shut down. Because people grieve differently and some don’t grieve at all, they are each different.

No matter what, it’s an epidemic that needs attention. Divorce causes confusion about how marriage was intended from the beginning and not only the pain of separation for the one left behind, but separation from our children. It’s not supposed to be this way…

Divorce is a life event never to be celebrated in my book. It has caused me so much pain over my lifetime, that it must be my calling. It hurts my heart for every child and adult that encounters it. It’s not supposed to be this way…

My prayer is that these articles comfort those who have been or are going through similar situations and that they warn others. That couples think twice, three times, four times, that they do the work needed, that they consider their examples, that they communicate, and get healthy…together. Because families are torn apart and it’s not supposed to be this way.

That they don’t just stay together for the kids. And never, if it’s abusive or unfaithful without repentance, but to show kids and others what marriage is “supposed” to be. Not easy, but strong. A union of two sinners who have to learn to forgive and how to be forgiven. A testimony to grace.

Once we “get over” the separation of the person we vowed that we never would (whole other article), the separation from our children is brutal.

I’m about to embark on my first month away from my girls and my heart just aches. One week away at camp pales in comparison to a month away. It’s not supposed to be this way..

I know divorced moms do this all the time. I also know it’s hard for them all. I know some travel, some rest, some work more, and some just sulk. I plan to do all of the above. I need to….

The ache in my heart reminds me that Jesus can feel it too. It reminds me of how it was the separation from His Father on the cross that killed him. It wasn’t the physical pain, it was THAT pain that He cried out over. “Father, why have you forsaken Me?”

Sin separates us from our Father. He took on ALL of our sin so that we would never feel the separation that He did. This separation needed to happen in order for us to never be separated again.  And, it killed Him. He knows the pain. It broke his heart. And, still does.

Let us keep looking to Jesus. He is the one who started this journey of faith. And he is the one who completes the journey of faith. He paid no attention to the shame of the cross. He suffered there because of the joy he was looking forward to. Then he sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2 (NIRV)

Do you know that this “JOY” He looked forward to as He was beaten, nailed to a cross, and separated from His Father for absolutely nothing He did Himself was being with us forever! That outcome was worth all the pain He endured. Oh, how He yearns for that day too. He must after what He was willing to do in order for it to happen.

I also get the pain that dads feel separated from their kids. I get it. I’m married to one who misses his. While mine will be gone, we’re happy to have his kids for a month. But, we both know that they have a mama who will be missing them too. We both agree that it’s not supposed to be this way. Kids shouldn’t have to pick or miss the other parents. We didn’t bring them into the world to share them. Neither of us.

We both KNOW why God hates divorce.

Whether it’s camp, college, divorce, distance, or death, may the Lord comfort us in our separation and may it be a blatant reminder of how much He hates separation too. Enough to die for it. May He fill in the gaps as only He can.

Last night all I wanted to do was spend time with my girls. They were both caught up with their friends and games. They don’t understand. But, my husband (who does) sent them to spend time with me. He knows the hurt and that time is always ticking….He knows because his time ticks too.

Next month, I’ll lean on him and the people God sends who will listen, care, and accompany me. And, may all of you other separated parents do the same.

Because, it’s not supposed to be this way…..And, because of the separation Jesus endured, one sweet day it won’t be.

The Best and Worst of Times..

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To say the last seven years have been hard would be an understatement. There were times I thought it would kill me or admit me. But God…

He sustained me.

This morning, I’m sitting in my new office in our new house. The space I set up to write. My loving husband asleep upstairs (there were times I never knew if I would be able to write those words). Our kids asleep. Our dogs asleep. Home. A beautiful new home (there were times I never thought I’d write those words).

I knew I wanted them all (a loving husband, a new home, a book)..but THE PROCESS of each one seemed insurmountable.

I’ve received all three of these in three months. To say the last three months have been a whirlwind would be an understatement. But, God…

He will steady me.

I didn’t just want a husband, I wanted a faithful, loving, God-fearing one who lived here and loved me enough to commit and to wait. At fourty years old. And, I would have waited until eighty if I’d had to. I knew I’d only have peace with a man like I’d want for my own daughters one day…

I wanted a new house that gave us more room, but I wanted a very similar location. Just more room. We hoped to move this summer, but when we listed our house last month, we had an offer and signed contract in ten hours. Our pictures hadn’t even been uploaded yet! This was happening so much sooner than we’d planned. One month after getting married and we were packing up. Time to find the new place…

Done. And less than a mile away. I look around and still can’t believe it’s mine.

I was a single mom for seven years. My girls were one and five, too young to realize what was going on, too young to understand, too young to have a clue what was happening or how hurt I was by it all.

At the time, I thought how unfair that was on top of everything else. I didn’t want any of it. And, I sure didn’t want to share them, they were still literally my babies. One in diapers, the other in pull ups.

For five of those years, I bled all over my keyboard. As God would speak to my heart, I would write. I would hope the words would one day somehow touch others. I would wait for the next topic and look for His lessons in each and every heartache. In the midst of the pain and loneliness and stress and confusion and grief. I would listen and ask what I needed to know. And, still do.

I can’t clearly express the pain I’ve experienced, I’m sure there are many of you reading this who can’t either. Pain can’t be put into words, it’s felt in the heart. But, so is God.

Our words could never do Him justice, but still we write and praise and sing.

He may have spoken light and animals and plants into existence. But, He BREATHED us to life. So, with every breath, may I return my gratitude for His mercy, His faithfulness, His presence, His forgiveness, His desires in my heart.

With every breath, may I thank Him for not only what I have now, but for the past seven years of what felt like my desert. Because, it was in those seven years, that He was not only my Savior, but my husband, our provider, my sustainer. He is the giver of every single good gift that we have and there are many.

Even in pain, He gives. And, what I needed the most in my whole life was Him. He revealed Himself to me in that pain. So, I thank Him for it!

My husband with a heart for Him wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for those seven years. This house wouldn’t be ours if He hadn’t sold ours when He did. My book wouldn’t be written, much less published, if I hadn’t experienced that pain with Him. He called me to write long ago, but I didn’t have the content.

To Him be the glory of it all.

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm—my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed.” Joel 2:25-26 (NIV)

 

 

I’m Just Your Mom..

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This title keeps bouncing around in my mind. Time to write…

It came to me when I was driving my oldest daughter to school a couple weeks ago. It was cold and she was leaving on a class trip that morning. Coldest weekend so far this year and she was leaving for a class trip a few hours away.

All she wanted to take to fend off the cold was a sweatshirt. She told me over and over again that’s all she’d wear. Still, I insisted she bring a coat, my ski coat, because it was the warmest one in the house. I told her she’d be thankful for it, that she’d want it.

She didn’t agree.

So much so, I was pretty sure it would get left behind somewhere. In a car, at the hotel, at the school. She didn’t want it. It was cold, wet, and getting colder.

I could send the coat, but I couldn’t make her wear it. I couldn’t make her remember it. I couldn’t make her want it. As hard as it would be to force her to wear it even if I were physically with her, I wouldn’t be. So, I had no control over whether she would wear it or not. Just make it available and hope that she’d not only wear it, but actually bring it home.

Makes me think of how we, as moms, love our kids like no other. We have a lot of “power” when it comes to where we let our kids physically go when they are young. But, we can’t control everything and we can’t make all their choices for them. So much is out of our hands. We may “control” some of their activities, but we can’t control their hearts or minds. We only have so much. The love is infinite, but the control is minute.

As much as I hope she learns from my mistakes, forgives me for them, and chooses Jesus for herself, I can’t make her. Only pray and hope that she does and brings Him to her home one day.

All this from how little control I had over whether she wore the coat I sent or not.

Her life’s path is different from mine. God has a specific purpose in mind for her. My prayer is she follows IT. Him. And, that takes a lot of trust in her and Him from me.

We can take our kids to school and put friends in front of them, but we can’t make them choose them for themselves. We can allow phones or not, but we can’t control their friends devices. We can take them to church or not, but we can’t control their desire for  God.  We can make them food, but we can’t pick their food when they are away from us or make them like certain things. So much is theirs to control. So much more than I ever knew prior.

We can make them say they are sorry, but we can’t make them mean it or truly forgive. We can’t make them stay faithful or pick their spouse. We can’t control their spouses hearts or actions either.

I can send a coat, but I can’t make you wear it.

I can’t make you value yourself. Just hope and pray you do. I can’t put Jesus in your heart. Only pray you do.

I hope, as scary as this may sound to us moms, that it also helps us relieve the coat of all the pressure. There’s a lot we can do for our kids, but so much that we can’t. So much will be between them and God alone. Their own choices and journey, just like we have ours.

All I can do is the best I can at all of the above, pray some of it rubs off, and that they have grace for me in the bad stuff too.

I heard after the trip that she not only wore the coat but was so thankful she had it. Made me smile and strengthened my resolve that I sent it regardless of her resistance. I high fived myself in my mind. Go, Mom!

I gave birth to you and carried you, but He formed you and gives you life to this day.

I can wear my coat and hope you do too. But, I can’t control your heart. Only keep turning it over.

After all, He’s your Savior. I’m just your mom.

Brace Yourselves..

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I’m writing this in the middle of the ocean…on a cruise ship. On our honeymoon. I haven’t written since Christmas. To say I’ve been busy is an understatement. From a new job to a wedding, my mind has been preoccupied. I’ll write more on that later..

But today, the waves are crashing. The wind is blowing. Our breakfast dishes are swaying and vibrating from the windy conditions outside. This is the rockiest the boat has been all week. I’m hearing it’s because we are moving from 80 degree weather to, from what I hear, the 30s.

Two fronts colliding in the Gulf of Mexico.

Last weekend, we had a 70 degree outdoor wedding. In February! Completely unexpected. And today, one week later, I hear it’s COLD, as we expected it to be on the big day. We live in Texas, so you really never know what to expect weather wise. We laugh about it because it’s so true…

As the ship rocks back and forth on our last day, I can’t help but think about transition. We are heading back to our new lives as husband and wife, parents to four children rather than two each. Huge transition! The Lord says “Expect the wind, expect the rocky times, expect the unknown, but I am with you. As I always have been.”

Just like moving between warm and cold fronts, with all change, comes movement, uneasiness, new challenges, and at times, fear. This boat is rocking, but I fully expect it to get me where He knows I need to be.

The captain of this cruise ship could see the rocky conditions coming and turn around for fear of sick or scared passengers or continue full steam ahead. We all have that choice.

We have to be willing to sustain the wind in order to keep moving forward…Home is the goal for the captain and all of us aboard.

The devil can throw all kinds of wind and debris at us, and He has. But, the Holy Spirit is also referenced to us Wind in the Bible. So, when the waves are crashing and we are grabbing at hand rails to keep our balance, we need to trust that the Lord is stronger still. One breath of God brings life.

We want to share the love of Jesus and wherever we can be used for Him most, we ask Him to take us. Amidst the storms only He can calm, we will endure and trust Him.

Whatever brings You glory, Lord! We will rock with and for You…You alone are our steady.