The Greatest Gift…

Tomorrow is my birthday. Another August 22nd on the horizon. And, I’m already thankful for it. It’s the first one I can remember that has organically fallen on a Saturday…when I have my kids. All of them except my bonus son who will be at work.

I plan our lives (and all our birthdays) knowing we have specific weekends with and without the kids. As they get older, I recognize that even this starts to change. So, getting to wake up knowing they are home, that I don’t have to rush and leave for work all day, that my husband will be home too, and that my family is coming over is the greatest gift. Time. A day together.

I’m thankful for the other family members we get to celebrate tomorrow. I’m thankful for the house and space and health to do so. I’m thankful for the lessons learned this year and the desire to learn more next year.

We plan to go to church in the morning. It’s the first weekend it’s been open in awhile and I’m thankful for that too. Not only that we can go and worship with others, but also that my daughter asked to go. No greater gift than that. The desire to worship and time together. Makes me think of heaven one day. Nothing but worship and time. Togetherness with no awkwardness, no grudges, no paranoia, no shame, guilt, or blame. Only what we love and desire about togetherness. Peace and harmony.

I don’t expect this tomorrow. I expect food, family, and some fun. But, I also realistically expect a house full of people, littles, and teenagers. In all it’s imperfection, I say thank you. To each one. Even if the choice isn’t theirs to be there, I am thankful they will be. Because we never know how many birthdays we have left. Especially ones that fall on a Saturday.

 

 

My Teeth!

I have some strange physical ailments. My family and I laugh about it and wonder why?? Inevitably, when the next one pops up, I get a response something along the lines of “Oh, that makes sense, because it’s you.” And, I agree. It’s very strange stuff.

For one, I was diagnosed with degenerative discs in college. No injury, no rhyme or reason, just debilitating back pain that led to MRI after MRI and pain to the point of assuming the fetal position many weekends and crawling to the bathroom. Not pretty. Not conducive to working, wife(ing), or mommy(ing). After many physical therapy regimens, consistent muscle relaxers, and multiple epidural pain injections, I opted for a laser discectomy to relieve an impinged nerve. Since then, my pain has subsided. I occasionally have an issue, but for the most part, it doesn’t affect me much anymore.

I have a cluster of lipomas behind my right knee. No idea why. No rhyme or reason. I get asked what they are and I wish I had some great answer, like a vicious dog bite or 3rd degree burn scar, but no. Just, fatty tumors right there. I’m just thankful they aren’t malignant and chose to form behind my knee and not on my face. But, still, odd.

I could go on and on…

The enamel on my teeth is thinning. So much so, that I’ve had dentists ask me if I’m bulimic or a competitive swimmer because of it. Nope. Once again no rhyme or reason. Currently, my dentist is putting together his case (for the third time) to request medically necessary veneers from my insurance company. Veneers are rarely covered by insurance because they are considered cosmetic. But, he says, for MY teeth, veneers would just get them back to “normal thickness”. The enamel is too thin and nothing else is helping. My teeth are so sensitive, that even air affects them. I’m known for my beautiful (Julia Roberts) smile. I value it. I share it. I’m thankful my teeth look good. But, they don’t feel good.

This morning, while my hygienist was cleaning my teeth with the aid of my usual nitrous oxide, a tear slid down my cheek. Once again, I wondered why? Why do I have this strange disorder too? And, then I was reminded, that the way someone looks on the outside may cover many imperfections. Are we willing to own them? Are we willing to let someone know so they can love us, imperfections and all? Can we look beyond looks?

You never know what someone may be too embarrassed or fearful to share about themselves. Emotionally, physically, or mentally. We all have stuff.

A pretty smile doesn’t mean perfection. Actually, it never does. But, to smile, knowing we are flawed and loved in spite of it is as close to perfect as it gets to me.