This Mama’s Prayer…

baptism

6/4/16

To my Abby,

You have no idea how much this day means to me. I know you’re young. I also know that your decision to be baptized is as clear as it can possibly be at the ripe age of 10 years old.

You’ve told me that today means washing away your sins. That’s true. You’ve also told me that today means that you and Jesus will get closer and closer. That is also true. But, like we’ve also discussed, we need to do our part to continue to foster that relationship.

Just like you, I was baptized while attending the same school you do, in this same church. In this very same baptistery. I also believe I made the decision as clearly as I possibly could at the time. Then, life happened.

I need you to know that you are the reason I got rebaptized. When I held you in my arms and stared at you in your crib, I knew I needed God more than ever in my life. How on earth would I be able to raise you to love, lean on, and honor God if I wasn’t? I knew, in that moment, that I had allowed our relationship to wither. It was you that made me a mom and it was you that brought my heart back to Jesus. For you, I am forever grateful.

I know God never left me, but I went about my life not checking in with Him, not growing with Him, not seeking Him. You, Abby, changed all that for me. The love I have for you opened my heart to God’s unfathomable love for me and put me back on the path of relentless pursuit with my Jesus.

I pray there are many big events I’ll get to witness in your life. Graduations, first cars, jobs, moves, boyfriends, possibly a wedding, and maybe even children of your own. I’m sure I’ll cry at each one. But, one thing I can say about today is that this relationship that you are allowing in your heart and declaring as your own can, will, and should affect them all. This is my prayer as your mom.

I pray that your relationship with God trumps all others. He wants to lead you. My prayer is that you let Him. I pray that each decision you make in your life reflects the one you’re making today. I know how hard that is. And, if one blessed day we do this again, I will be right here crying tears of joy like I am today that you are choosing and walking with the Lord. As a parent now, I realize that there truly is no greater joy…..

This is huge baby girl. For you, for me, and for Jesus. He is here, He loves you, and He will never leave you. I am praising God for this day!

My life changer. My Abby.

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Why Brokenness is a Gift

beauty

I read somewhere “there are two types of people, the ones who know they are broken and the ones who don’t.” I firmly believe this. We are all broken. Some of us know it and willingly admit it. Some don’t know they are broken yet (like children), and some just plain refuse to admit it. Viewing ourselves and each other as broken people evens the playing field. This perspective leads to humility and grace. Admitting our brokenness and dependance on Him is when God’s strength and power as Healer and Provider can manifest it’s greatest significance in our lives.

Ultimately, whatever leads us to the foot of the cross in brokenness will be seen as a blessing in our lives. It may be parenting struggles, an illness, loss of a loved one, divorce, lack of a role model, people pleasing, a past regret, financial ruin, addiction. This is how all things work together for the good of those who love God (Romans 8:28). This is how Jesus takes the most painful experiences the evil one throws our way and turns them around for His Glory. This is how people can be touched and loved on a whole new level by admitted brokenness.  This is how He makes beauty from ashes. We are all in this thing together.

To lay our egos and hurts down at His feet and accept God’s love into the cracks is to be beautifully broken. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, God does. Wounds left untreated may fester in time and repeat themselves generation after generation if not brought before the healing power of God. He heals, renews, and restores.

I love the lyrics of the following song and want to share…..”Keep Making Me” by Sidewalk Prophets

“Make me broken
So I can be healed
‘Cause I’m so calloused
And now I can’t feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken

Make me empty
So I can be filled
‘Cause I’m still holding
Onto my will
And I’m completed
When you are with me
Make me empty

[Chorus:]
‘Til You are my one desire
‘Til You are my one true love
‘Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

Make me lonely
So I can be Yours
‘Til I want no one
More than You, Lord
‘Cause in the darkness
I know You will hold me
Make me lonely

[Chorus]

‘Til You are my one desire
‘Til You are my one true love
‘Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making,
I know You’ll keep making
Lord, please keep making me”