But I Thought…

This weekend, Jesus took me to therapy. You know, we can be told something our whole lives and when God brings it front and center, is when it actually sticks.

I’ve been assuming the worst in people…That they don’t care, that they don’t want to help, that they don’t like me, that they don’t approve of me, that they blame me, that they just wish I weren’t there, including the people I love.

Isn’t that a sad state of mind? To assume people are mad or upset before you even know if they are? Why not assume people are fine with you. People are busy with their own lives. That people don’t/can’t know your issue if you haven’t shared it, that they want what’s best for you, that they have their own issues going on, that they are happy when you are, and sad when you are. That their hearts beat in sincerity and compassion. This not only lightens your load, but takes the unnecessary pressure off of them too.

I was also reminded that “how we view people (for the better or for the worse) also shows how we view ourselves.” So, that must mean I’m assuming the worst about myself. How sad! Assuming the worst in people and ourselves is not loving others or ourselves. It’s exactly what the devil wants to cause division before a conflict has even taken place. What an evil trick on his part!

How about we lean on the Lord for strength, wisdom, understanding and start trusting that in ourselves? How about we make decisions based on our worth in Him and lean into the joy and confidence that goes a long with that? He is ever present in our lives and He bestows wisdom when asked.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5 (NIV)

You know what they say happens when we assume?

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How about we assume the best, then when someone has a problem, it can be dealt with appropriately when it arises. This seems simple, but it prevents me from assuming there are a lot more problems than necessary to address and tend to. Let’s take them as they come, not as we assume they are.

Let’s love others by assuming the best about them and love ourselves by thinking the best of ourselves. It’s in people’s weaknesses and frustrations that they need love the most, it’s the same with ourselves. We need to love ourselves through a hard day, the hard stuff. Consider God’s open arms of grace when we blow it. Because we need love too. We all do.

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Who Can You Trust?

 

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I used to believe anything anyone would tell me. Call me extremely naive, innocent, or foolish. I just did. I believed people were trustworthy until proven different. Now, I fall more into the category of “I’ll trust you when you prove yourself trustworthy”. This makes me sad, but probably wiser. I don’t want to come off jaded, but not everyone can be trusted. I’ve learned this the really hard way. Maybe you have also. Maybe you’ve been abused and/or deceived. First of all, I’m so sorry for your pain. I get it. I can empathize with your pain, confusion, and shock. The one who dismisses your pain, has never felt it or hasn’t dealt with their own.

Once the shock wears off and you are in the terrifying yet beautiful place to rebuild your life, your trust in people and yourself will also need to be rebuilt. But how? Who can you trust? Keep God first and ask Him for help. Praise Him through the storm and watch Him transform you and the people around you.

I found a quote on trusting God, but was unable to find the author, I wish I could have. It really spoke to me and is as follows: “We cannot hope to trust in someone who is essentially a stranger to us, but that is easily remedied. God has not made Himself difficult to find or know. All we need to know about God, He has graciously made available to us in the Bible, His Holy Word to His people. To know God is to trust Him.”  How can we trust a stranger? We can’t. We have to get to know Him for ourselves in order to place our trust in Him.

People WILL fail us, even the ones who love us the most. I will fail you. That will never be my intention, but it will happen. I can apologize, I can explain, I can ask forgiveness, but that won’t change the fact that I’m not perfect and I will fail you. Pointing each other to the ONLY perfect One in the universe is the most loving thing we can do to protect each other’s hearts.

It may feel like God has failed you. I get that too. We live in a fallen world and the enemy is painstakingly on attack…..constantly. God hasn’t failed you. He will pick you up. He will walk alongside you in the pain. He will speak wisdom in your ear. He yearns to. He loves you with an eternal, unfailing love that is worthy of our trust.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5,6

Trusting people these days is harder than it’s ever been for me. Baby steps…. It’s much easier for me to trust a person that is submitted to God. Someone who admits they aren’t perfect, but knows and loves the One who is. A person who’s greatest desire is to honor God with their broken and imperfect life. Someone who can say I will fail you and life is hard, but I will always point you in God’s direction and pray for you.  A person who says I’ve never had it all together and I never will this side of eternity, but I know the One who does. These people are my very best friends and mentors, these people are true blessings for which I’m so grateful. These are people I can trust because I know who they trust and that makes all the difference in the world.

Why Ya Gotta Be So Rude?

excuse me

“Why ya gotta be so rude? Don’t you know I’m human too?” This song is so catchy right now. I can’t help but turn it up and sing along…and it got me thinking (fancy that). We don’t know the story behind why the dad is not giving his blessing to marry his daughter. He may have a very good point. We also don’t know if she even wants to marry the guy or if Dad’s replying truly rudely or just being protective and direct….but I DO love the premise behind the song. Why do people have to be SO rude?

I’ve come to realize that blatant rudeness is just disrespect plain and simple. It shows lack of self control, lack of decency, lack of respect…just lack. I used to be attracted to rudeness, maybe because I thought it showed superiority in some way. I just assumed if the person was rude they had every right to be. Now, I see things very differently. I’m completely repelled by rudeness, it’s just not necessary. There are ways to do and confront hard things without being rude.

Turns out you can disagree with someone and not be rude. You can express your own personal opinion and not be rude. You can say “no” and not be rude. You can confront really hard issues and not be rude. People will respect you SO much more if you can express yourself, be yourself, stand up for yourself and NOT be rude. It may be extremely tempting to roll out the rudeness, but it’s just not necessary. It’s disrespectful.

If you disagree, express, decline, confront, or end something in a polite manner and the person is offended and angry, that’s their problem. You have every right to make decisions in your life and they do too. It’s HOW we navigate these situations that show respect for others and ourselves. Remember to respect yourself, we people pleasers have a very hard time with this one….

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23

Be you, be strong, but be POLITE! Thank you 🙂