Why??

Even Jesus asked “Why.” He already knew the answer. He knew what He was doing. He knew what His Father was doing. He knew the job He came to accomplish. But, in His humanness and despair, He cried out..”Why?” Can you relate? Obviously, so can He.

About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, WHY have you forsaken me?”). Matthew 27:46 (NIV)

Jesus knew His purpose. By the time he was twelve, He was “about His father’s business.” (Luke 2:49) He pleaded for the cup to pass the night before, if it all possible, but went forward all knowing, all merciful, and all powerful for the “joy set before Him” (Hebrews 12:2). Joy? He wasn’t looking forward to it. He dreaded it, but the outcome was His joy and His why.

He knew that He would be the ultimate sacrifice. Our ultimate sacrifice. He endured and allowed the emotional pain and physical agony of the cross, for us. “Us” being His joy. We are why He did what He did. Being with us forever was worth it to Him to take on every sin, abandonment from His Father, be beaten, spat on, made fun of, and killed a tortuous death. He was forsaken so that we never would be. He took the hit. The pain of the forsaking (separation) ultimately pushed out the question. He could no longer contain it, even though He knew it. Even Jesus with a “Why, Lord?!”

If He did this for us, He should be our joy. Then and now, we are still His. We should relish in His love for us. Accept His forgiveness. Lean on Him in our trials and praise Him for His presence. Share His life and sacrifice with others. Point others to Him when hurt by church people, work people, family people, people. People proclaiming His name sometimes cause the most hurt. That’s not Him, that’s them.

So, when we ask “Why”, let us remember that even our Savior did. He cried out “Why” to a question He already knew. In His pain and literal darkness, He cried out “Why?”

He was sinless, so we are not wrong to ask this question. We are humans with many questions. May our “whys” be followed with a remembrance that it is also finished. After His why, He also cried this out. “It is finished” and died. All of our questions will one day be wrapped up in Him. He is the answer.

He did not come to hurt, condemn, or look down on people. He came to speak and live truth, teach, heal, be an example of God’s love, die, be raised again, and claim the victory….for us.

May our “whys” point to Him. May we point others with “whys” to Him. May, our “I just don’t know, but one day we wills” be a source of hope and point to the One who cried out the same exact question knowing full well the answer. The answer to His “why” was why He did it. We are His why.

May we always remember that Jesus comes to us in our hurts and empathizes with our weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15). He also knows suffering personally. His “why” was proof of that. It was in His worse suffering that even He asked the question we so often do and our ultimate sacrifice made complete because of it.

You are not alone.

 

 

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Disclaimer

Since this is a public blog, I feel a disclaimer is warranted. A few things I want out there. Regardless of whether they are believed or not, this is my heart behind a few things.

  • I write because God asked me to share my heart
  • I have to be and get okay with being misunderstood
  • I also need to be aware and okay with the fact that not everyone likes me, knows me, or approves of what I do
  • I write to help girls with decisions before they marry, work on their marriages, and to share the struggles of divorce and sharing kids.
  • I write to let other women know they are not alone
  • I write to share the love of Jesus
  • My ex husband is a great dad
  • I’ve grown to love their stepmom and at this point wouldn’t want anyone else in her place. She loves the girls, what else could I ask for?
  • I am beyond thankful that our girls have two sets of parents who love them enough to want them all the time. Praise God for that!
  • I share struggles associated with co-parenting to highlight the grace of God, encourage others to work on their marriages, and to be aware of what they will face if it falls apart.
  • Some marriages need to fall apart
  • I have made many mistakes in marriage and mothering too. I admit to each and every one and ask forgiveness
  • The thoughts expressed in this blog are my own. You are 100% entitled to your own and welcome to share as well
  • There are absolutely two sides to every story, I can only share my own. I only know my own
  • My intent is never to hurt anyone, but to extend grace to those who have hurt me and I can only pray for the same for those I have hurt
  • My purpose for this blog is an eternal one. To point to Jesus, to share how He alone shares in our struggles and loves each one of us with an incomprehensible love regardless of our failures, mess-ups, and weaknesses….and we all have them. I am no different.

Mary’s Perspective

mary

I was thinking about Mary’s personal journey today. As a young woman engaged to be married, she was visited by an angel who tells her that she has found favor in God’s eyes. Because of this favor, He has chosen her to carry and deliver His son. She had questions…how can this be possible? I’ve never even been with a man! What will my fiancé think? Will my family believe me? Why would God pick me? Do all these questions really mean I’m favored….or in trouble? She only asked Gabriel one question…how can this happen? I am a virgin. Luke 1:34. His response was The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. Luke 1:35

Once she accepted her divine yet incomprehensible assignment, God went to work on all the rest of her concerns. He sent an angel to inform, soften, and strengthen Joseph’s heart. And, he accepted his assignment too. People talked. Mary and Joseph both knew they probably always would.

People’s questions and accusations didn’t deter either of them. I read that one reason Joseph may have taken his extremely pregnant wife with him on the treacherous journey to Bethlehem was to protect her from a possible stoning because of the infidelity she was accused of. Joseph was the supportive and God fearing man that Mary needed him to be. Both of their reputations were at stake. Still, he protected her. He covered her. Just as God told him to. It took radical obedience from them both and that’s exactly why they were chosen. God knew they had it in them. I’m sure, at times, they questioned that as well. God didn’t.

Do you ever think about the humans involved in the nativity story? The living breathing human beings that allowed themselves to be ridiculed, judged, misunderstood, and turned away?? The King of Kings and Lord of Lords was born in a stable surrounded by animals. It didn’t matter where He was born. His delivery would deliver His people regardless. God, Mary, Joseph, Elizabeth, the angels, and the wise men all knew that. Soon, the world would know. But now, imagine with me the people in this story that allowed their lives to be truly turned upside down for His Glory alone.

As a mother myself, I imagine Mary rocking her new baby to sleep and wondering “why God, why me?” I’m sure most mothers can relate to this feeling. but this story takes it to a whole new level. How could You entrust Him (Your Son) to my care? As the song goes…”Mary did you know, that your baby boy has come to make you new? This child that you’ve delivered , will soon deliver you.” Our kids have a way of doing that…..they readjust our priorities, they drive us to our knees, they change us. Their innocence is enough to make us crave ours again. Their curiosity arouses ours. Their answers teach us new insights. We never think we are ready, yet God entrusts us to more than we can comprehend.

It comforts me to know that questions are normal, they make and keep us human. God’s favor is not dependent on perfection, only willingness. His overwhelming love imparts obedience. If Mary hadn’t trusted God’s love for her and desired to please Him more than anyone else, the angel’s message would have sounded like a nightmare. Why would I do that, Lord? Why on earth would You put me through that? Instead her response was I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true. Luke 1:38

It was for His Glory, not hers. She found favor in His eyes. The rest, as they say, is history…..

But Why?

question

The ultimate question when things go wrong…….but why? I have my fair share of the same question. There are so many whys in this world. Why did she get sick? Why didn’t I get that job? Why didn’t he love me? Why didn’t God save my marriage? Why didn’t that relationship work? Why did a tornado hit that neighborhood? Why did it hit mine? Why does that person have a problem with me? Why did that child have to die? Why???

These questions will boggle our minds and test our faith. They can make us turn TO God for comfort and refuge or AWAY from Him in anger and disgust. Consider the story of Job in the Bible. God allowed him to be tested above and beyond what most of us have ever had to experience. Job was a Godly man with a blessed and happy life. He was a better person than most of us and the Lord allowed him to be tested more than most of us. First, his livestock died therefore his income was gone, then his children died (all of them), then his body was covered in painful sores, then his wife and his friends turned on him in disgrace, and he was left to wonder WHY Lord?? His story will leave us scratching our heads as well. What on earth did he do to deserve this? Why on earth would God allow that? How much can one person take? It’s just not fair!

I love God’s response to Job’s questions: “Job, have you ever walked on the ocean floor? How large is the earth? Who carves out a path for thunderstorms? Do you control the stars or set in place the Big Dipper? When lions are hungry, do you help them hunt? Can you count the clouds or pour out their water on the soil?” These questions are all from Job 38 (CEV). Wow! I mean, touché.

These answers may come off as insensitive when we are grieving and craving only comfort and need relief. The truth lies in the fact that an explanation won’t comfort us, only the presence and love of  God will. Some of the questions we want so badly to know the answers to may actually cause us more pain. Do you REALLY want to know why he or she doesn’t love you? Do you REALLY want to know all the details? I mean….ouch. The pain is already bad enough. Take the pain and turn it over to a God who loves you unconditionally. Ask Him to carry it because it is just too heavy and hurts too much. When our hearts are broken, He wants in so badly.

I believe one of the ways God loves us in a crisis situation is by sheltering us from some of these answers. Instead of demanding answers, maybe we should ask different questions.  Questions like: How do I forgive him for that? How can I show her love when she treats me that way? How do I stand up to him the way You want me to? How do I respond to that? What do I do with this broken heart? How do I deal with this anger? What do I do with this pain? How do I move forward from this? I believe His response to these questions is always positive. First, He’s thankful we are turning TO Him no matter the reason. Second, He wants us to be honest with Him and get real. Tell Him how much it hurts and tell Him why. This is how a relationship is formed. Yes, He already knows, but He wants us to come to Him about it. He wants to have dialogue, even if it’s messy and angry. Any communication is better than none.

Questions and pain are something we all have in common. How we deal with them is what sets us apart. We need to make peace with the fact that only God may know why and that’s for the best right now. And, we need to RUN to His arms when we are hurt. Don’t run the other direction. Let Him hold you and comfort you when the pain runs deep.

When our children get hurt, they naturally crawl, limp, run, or cry out to us for help. We should be just as inclined to cry out to Him when we are hurt. Sometimes the pain is our fault, sometimes it’s an accident, sometimes it’s inflicted by someone else, and sometimes we’ll never get our answer this side of Heaven. What matters most is that we turn TO our Heavenly Father when it hurts. This will not only heal our hearts sooner but it will also prevent us from hurting others in the process.