Why the Wait?

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waiting

We all want to hurry up and eat. The smells and ever increasing stomach growls can make waiting to eat excruciating. One of my daughter’s most common responses to what I want to make for dinner any given night is “how long is THAT gonna take?” Needless to say, I opt for quick dinners most nights with the little ones. Us grown-ups can act the same way with God when we have to wait, I know I do. Our mouths water, we sneak a bite, we open the oven to look, we ask how much longer?? Sitting down to our favorite foods is one of our favorite things on this earth. The bigger the feast, the more we slobber, anticipate, and……wait.

Waiting for something in our lives is no different. Patience is another fruit of the Spirit that does not come naturally to us, especially in our culture. We want it and we want it NOW. I feel God pressing on my heart and mind to remember that He is active while we wait. Waiting may seem like an idle waste of energy to us. I mean, what’s the hold up? We are all waiting on something….including Jesus’s blessed return to take us all home. I can’t wait! Well, we have to. What can we do while we wait? Trust, share, love, and ask for more patience.

Although we all want to hurry up and eat, waiting is like marinating. Marinating is where the good stuff happens and the food gets happy. If we shorten the marinade because of our impatience, the final product won’t be as delectable as it was intended to be. Remember that while we wait, there is a lot going on behind the scenes. We may feel idle, but God is anything but. There are family members to consider, hearts to soften, minds to strengthen, traditions to maintain or discontinue, generations to affect. These may all be factors in why we wait. He alone can handle all these variables.

Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer WAITS for the land to yield it’s valuable crop, patiently WAITING for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:7,8

Naturally, we want to rush, get, take, eat, and run with it. But, He asks us to wait. To wait for His timing does not mean to be idle. There are all kinds of things we can do while we wait. Go do them! Trust the Chef and don’t rush the marinade…the feast will be worth it.

Love Them Anyway

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love

We are called to love others as God loves them…and that means to love them anyway. Because we are not perfect and will fail each other, we will need to choose to love anyway and in spite of. We are studying the various fruits of the spirit in our women’s Bible study and the lesson on love hit me hard. Not because I have a hard time loving necessarily, but because of how Beth Moore explains why we tend to withhold love or are afraid to in the first place. The reason is rejection and fear of further rejection.

When we offer love and it is not returned, it can be the most painful experience known to man. Jesus felt the pain of rejection personally. When we experience that pain, we subconsciously protect ourselves from ever feeling it again….because it hurts. This is why we withhold or withdraw love. What we fail to realize, is that God sees our attempts. He catches and rewards our attempts to love even when they are rejected, ignored, or go completely unnoticed by man. This frees us up to go ahead and love anyway…because He sees.

For singles, this doesn’t mean to fall in love with anyone and everyone. Guard your heart. Be prayerful about who you fall for and commit to. But, we can still show brotherly and sisterly love to all in the process. Show love to potential mates by respecting them enough to be honest, polite, and direct. Every ex doesn’t need to turn into an enemy, wish them well and keep moving. One of my best friends reminded me that the one God has for you won’t leave. I believe this to be true! If they leave, let them go gracefully and be thankful that you are one step closer to the one that won’t.

We are called to love our enemies. This feels completely unnatural, but it is for our own good. Loving our enemies removes the enemy title. It doesn’t mean we hang out with them on a regular basis, call them when we have a problem, or have play dates (unless we feel led to). It also doesn’t mean we continue to put ourselves in hostile or harmful situations. There are some people in our lives that we will need to ask for God’s guidance on how to love and do it from a distance. To love our enemies is to recognize that they are fellow humans that Jesus also died for.

Forgiveness will lead to another blessed fruit…..peace. Peace that passes all understanding is a fruit that we don’t want to miss out on! This allows us to move forward in our lives without the weight of pent up bitterness, anger, and resentment. Remember, if God sees our attempts to love, He also sees those who reject it. God is merciful and just and it is His job to judge. It is our job to love.

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another – John 13:35

Some of us have an easy time saying “I love you”. Others, really struggle with saying it all. What it means, is I love you…anyway. I love you after all we’ve been through, what we will go through, regardless of what you do or don’t believe, in the midst of our failures and distances. It means as a brother or sister in Christ, I love you.

Forgiveness is the final act of love. Jesus forgave us all as He hung on the cross. He loved each one of us enough to die for us…..anyway and in spite of.

Get Real!

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get real

I’m inspired by a recent conversation with a friend about how we so desperately want to just get real. We crave getting real with each other and with God. There is such a stigma about admitting what we struggle with….

I was raised in the Seventh-day Adventist church. This was a blessing. But, I was missing a major ingredient to the Christian journey until my early 30s. I went through the motions and was taught to obey a certain set of rules that my brain was told to understand, but my heart was clueless as to why??

I’m thankful for the foundation that was set for me as a child and I don’t blame anyone for my misunderstanding. But, I am eternally grateful that God answered my cries for more as an adult. I had religion and wasn’t overly sold. Something was missing and my heart was aching for more. Turns out, I was missing the relationship part. Relationship is where it gets personal and real. Relationship changes everything.

I visited other churches in hopes that I could find what I was missing. I was willing to change churches just to find it. Thankfully, through a Twelve Steps for Spiritual Healing class offered at our church, I found exactly what I was looking for. Women who struggled like me. A small group of women willing to get real about their issues. We had issues with the church, issues at home, issues at work, issues with ourselves, issues with God. Issues that needed somewhere to go. It was through this group of women, that God started His healing and I opened up to a whole new experience with Him. I believe He led me to this group. I also believe this is why I have a strong passion for women’s ministry now.

As an adult with daughters of my own to raise, I still don’t understand some of the rules we were raised with. There are some I don’t follow anymore. I understand the importance of obedience. I understand the value in seeking the truth. I understand the gift of the Sabbath. But, I had never fully grasped the grace and unfailing love that Jesus has for me. It’s still hard to comprehend. I can only attempt to dish it out as quickly as He pours it in. There is POWER in the Holy Spirit. There is WISDOM in His word. And, there is unfailing LOVE in His sacrifice.

Going to church strictly out of routine can turn into as much of a crutch as not going at all. I didn’t go for years. It felt like more rules to me….I was missing the love factor. The acceptance factor. The grace factor. The “why” factor. Feeling God’s presence in my life and getting to know Him personally has changed everything. Now, I crave going to church because I get to surround myself with people who struggle (like me) and are seeking (like me) and long to worship (like me). That is such a blessing!

Last week I was sitting in my youngest daughter’s Sabbath School class and they were reciting their weekly memory verse. It was John 14:15 “If you love me, keep my commandments”. In high school, my head would have translated that verse as “oh no, another verse about following more rules that I don’t understand in order to be loved”. Now, I see how His commands are there BECAUSE He loves me and wants what’s best for me. I want my daughter to desire to obey Him because she is certain of His love for her, not because it’s the only way He will love her. Huge difference!

Thank you, Jesus, for wanting us to get real with You! What a relief and joy it is….

To Seek His Face?

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hideandseek

What does it mean to “Seek His face”? I woke up this morning with the strong inclination to do just that. “Seek Me. Seek My face.”

I play hide and seek with my girls and they squeal with excitement as they search and find me. It’s fun! The looks on their faces are priceless. Their eyes are wide as saucers when they find me and their laughs are contagious. I think a game of hide and seek is in our very near future. I feel the same way when I hear from God and even more when He blesses me with the courage and strength to obey. It’s in these moments that I imagine He may squeal with delight too. They tend to feel so few and far between…..

Look to The Lord and His strength; seek His face always. Psalms 105:5

Remember the cultural phenomenon “what would Jesus do”? This saying was about seeking Him. Seek His will. Seek His words. Seek His wisdom. Seek His character in any given situation. To seek means to search for, to discover, to look for, to ask for…To seek can be grueling. To seek can be hard work. We may not necessarily like what we find because it’s not the “easy” thing to do. We may be so scared of what could be found, that we stop seeking altogether. But, to seek His face is the prize. His face is the pot at the end of our rainbow and well worth searching for. Matter of fact, His face IS the rainbow after the storm.

Ask and it will be given you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7

I don’t think this verse means we will always get exactly what we ask for. I believe it means that if we are seeking Him, we will find Him. Being the perfect parent He is, He won’t give us everything we ask for. In His ultimate mercy and wisdom, He gives us what’s best for us. No matter the circumstance, He is always best for us. He is the prize. Ask, seek, search, grow….

One of God’s favorite “hiding places” (if you’re seeking Him) is in the Bible. It’s His love letter to us. It’s His instruction booklet and owner’s manual. His word is there for our own good, not to punish us. His word is there because He loves us, not to condemn us. His word is there to instruct and direct us, not to force us. It’s there to convict us, not to shame us. Seek and you shall find.

When the Clouds Part

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clouds

The last couple of days have felt extremely refreshing. I can’t think of any particular reason why….Have you ever had a few good hours, days, or weeks, and wondered when the clouds will return? There is a discipline to enjoying the good days rather than waiting and anticipating the next storm to roll in. Joy is a gift from God. It’s a fruit that He wants us to enjoy and partake of as much as possible on this earth. Give thanks for relief, peace, and laughter when they show their lovely faces. Enjoy and rest in what God has already done in your life. He’s still on the job and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

He carries us when we need to be carried. He fights for us when we turn it over. He weeps with us in our grief. AND, he smiles with us when we are happy. What a beautiful thought. When we have joy and peace, it’s from Him. When we need help, He’s there. Just like the parent we wish we could be for our kids, He is omnipresent, all-powerful, and all-loving. He rejoices over us.

The Lord your God is with you. He is a hero who saves you. He happily rejoices over you, renews you with His love, and celebrates over you with shouts of joy. Zepheniah 3:17 (GW)

He celebrates us! Not just WITH us, but He celebrates US. In the NIV version, the same verse says He will “rejoice over you in singing.” Can you even imagine that God sings over each of us? Our very own personal love song from the One who died for us. Now, that’s a beautiful love story.

When your life is good, let it be good! Soak in the sunshine and take in a big, deep, beautiful breath. Exhale, smile, and repeat. When the next trial arrives, He’ll be there. He always is. Relish in the good days and remember that when we are smiling, our Father is too…

What I’ve Learned From My Kids…

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motherhood

Here are a few things I’ve learned from my kids thus far. My girls are only 8 & 3, so I know I have a lot more learning to do and milestones to reach….Even so, these lessons have been astounding and life altering.

  • I wasn’t as “ready” for kids as I thought I was (no one is)
  • Patience is NOT my greatest virtue
  • The sweetest sound to my ears is “I love you Mommy”
  • Picking the girls up after work and putting them to bed are two of my favorite times
  • Going to the main church service with kids is important but “feels” pointless while you’re there….keep going.
  • I learn how I want to be treated when I think about how I want them to be treated
  • Every child is different
  • There is no “perfect’ way to feed, sleep train, or discipline your child, although they are all necessary
  • A kid’s memory is surprisingly accurate
  • Daycare is expensive!
  • Kids will listen to, watch, and read a favorite song, movie, or book over and over and over and over and over and…
  • Parenting will drive you to your knees, and that’s a good thing.
  • You can’t control everything.
  • Parenting should keep us very humble.
  • I wouldn’t trade it for the world

My girls are lovers, fighters, givers, takers, whiners, gamers, laughers, criers, cuddlers, and the best part is that they are mine! (So that all makes sense). Let the love and lessons continue….

What I Learned From My Grandma…

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cropped-love-tree2.jpg

Here are a few things I learned from my grandma. She was one of the smartest, funniest, strongest women I’ve had the privilege to know and love….

  • Keep God first
  • Work hard
  • Save money
  • Tell the truth, even if your voice shakes
  • Humor is always welcome and usually necessary
  • Be straight with your man, he’ll appreciate and respect you for it
  • Give to others
  • Pray for others, both international and domestic
  • Be a witness
  • You are a living example
  • Love hard
  • Time is precious
  • A timely joke can cut the tension in a room like nothing else
  • Chicken taco and spaghetti tastes better (to me) with veggie-meat instead of real meat
  • Fried okra has never tasted better (to me) than straight from Grandma’s skillet
  • Heaven will be the greatest family reunion any of us can ever imagine!

As a child and adult, my grandma took me to lunch and shopping for my birthday. This tradition continued until she couldn’t physically do it anymore. I looked forward to it every year. That special time she carved out just for me was the best gift she ever gave me. With my birthday quickly approaching, I am reminded of how much she loved me. I am forever grateful and blessed to be her granddaughter.

Who Can You Trust?

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trust

I used to believe anything anyone would tell me. Call me extremely naive, innocent, or foolish. I just did. I believed people were trustworthy until proven different. Now, I fall more into the category of “I’ll trust you when you prove yourself trustworthy”. This makes me sad, but probably wiser. I don’t want to come off jaded, but not everyone can be trusted. I’ve learned this the really hard way. Maybe you have also. Maybe you’ve been abused and/or deceived. First of all, I’m so sorry for your pain. I get it. I can empathize with your pain, confusion, and shock. The one who dismisses your pain, has never felt it or hasn’t dealt with their own.

Once the shock wears off and you are in the terrifying yet beautiful place to rebuild your life, your trust in people and yourself will also need to be rebuilt. But how? Who can you trust? Keep God first and ask Him for help. Praise Him through the storm and watch Him transform you and the people around you.

I found a quote on trusting God, but was unable to find the author, I wish I could have. It really spoke to me and is as follows: “We cannot hope to trust in someone who is essentially a stranger to us, but that is easily remedied. God has not made Himself difficult to find or know. All we need to know about God, He has graciously made available to us in the Bible, His Holy Word to His people. To know God is to trust Him.”  How can we trust a stranger? We can’t. We have to get to know Him for ourselves in order to place our trust in Him.

People WILL fail us, even the ones who love us the most. I will fail you. That will never be my intention, but it will happen. I can apologize, I can explain, I can ask forgiveness, but that won’t change the fact that I’m not perfect and I will fail you. Pointing each other to the ONLY perfect One in the universe is the most loving thing we can do to protect each other’s hearts.

It may feel like God has failed you. I get that too. We live in a fallen world and the enemy is painstakingly on attack…..constantly. God hasn’t failed you. He will pick you up. He will walk alongside you in the pain. He will speak wisdom in your ear. He yearns to. He loves you with an eternal, unfailing love that is worthy of our trust.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5,6

Trusting people these days is harder than it’s ever been for me. Baby steps…. It’s much easier for me to trust a person that is submitted to God. Someone who admits they aren’t perfect, but knows and loves the One who is. A person who’s greatest desire is to honor God with their broken and imperfect life. Someone who can say I will fail you and life is hard, but I will always point you in God’s direction and pray for you.  A person who says I’ve never had it all together and I never will this side of eternity, but I know the One who does. These people are my very best friends and mentors, these people are true blessings for which I’m so grateful. These are people I can trust because I know who they trust and that makes all the difference in the world.

Married 7 times?!

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commitment

I had a patient this morning who struggled to get on the bed for her test and said “try not to get old dear, it hurts.” I actually hear that from a lot of my patients and I try to remind them that it sure beats the alternative. Sadly, some of them still say, “well, I’m not so sure.” I told her “I’m so sorry it hurts, take your time”.  She replied with “that’s life honey, it just hurts”. Then she started to tell me about her life and how she should have “taken better care of herself”.

She explained that she dove headfirst into all the drinking, drugs, and sex she could get a hold of. She even shared with me that she had been married SEVEN times! That just blew me away. I incorrectly assumed that she had been left seven times and started to try to console her. She quickly and honestly corrected me by saying she’s the one who always left. Wow! She affirmed that all of her husbands had been good men with the exception of one. I asked her why she left and she told me she just “got bored”. This was such an eye opening conversation for me since it was coming from a woman.

She says she didn’t become a Christian until she was in her 40s. But, even then she still left husbands. She reminded me that the Christian journey is just that, a journey. Change and wisdom don’t come overnight. I guess they could if God so chooses, but typically it takes time, alot of grace, experiences, and failures to learn how much God loves us and how He wants us to love others. She is a strong Christian woman now. She loves God with all her heart and confided in me that the main reason she left all her husbands was because she didn’t know that love meant commitment. She thought love was based solely on feelings and once they faded, she got bored and just left. She says she knows now that love is a choice and a commitment that you make in spite of feelings.

I wanted to share her testimony because it really spoke to my heart. She shared with me that her pastor has asked her to speak on marriage and she told him she could only speak on what NOT to do. That’s valuable too and I think she should! We need to hear what not to do as much as what to do. Her parting words of advice to me were when you are married and look over at your spouse and wonder “what the heck am I doing with this person?” or have an argument (which you will). Don’t leave! Work through it, make the choice to love and STAY. Pray and get the help necessary, but stay. Sidenote: you can’t MAKE someone stay who doesn’t want to be there and you shouldn’t stay if there is any form of abuse or unrepentant infidelity. I’m aware that every troubled marriage has different variables going on.

She reminded me to never get married on feelings alone because although our feelings change every day, the commitment to love shouldn’t. If you get married on feelings alone, you may very well leave when those feelings fade. They will ebb and flow, but the commitment should stand firm. The only reason she kept getting married over and over was because she “felt” like it was right……seven times. And she is single today. Feelings are fickle and lust fades. But, true love grows.

She reminded me that only God’s love can satisfy. She reminded me that we can bless others even after we fail over and over. She reminded me that God can and will use us to reach and teach others no matter what has happened in our pasts or who we “were”. She reminded me that pointing others towards Jesus is the single most loving act you can perform in ANY relationship (including marriage) because His love is the ONLY love guaranteed not to up and leave by choice or death. Even the blessed couples that make it till death do they part, will still part, unless Jesus returns first.

She regrets the string of broken hearts she left behind in her brokenness. Today, she blessed and inspired mine and we are both grateful for that. God is a God of restoration. I asked her if I could share her story and she said she would be honored. May God bless her abundantly for sharing with me.

 

 

Why Ya Gotta Be So Rude?

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excuse me

“Why ya gotta be so rude? Don’t you know I’m human too?” This song is so catchy right now. I can’t help but turn it up and sing along…and it got me thinking (fancy that). We don’t know the story behind why the dad is not giving his blessing to marry his daughter. He may have a very good point. We also don’t know if she even wants to marry the guy or if Dad’s replying truly rudely or just being protective and direct….but I DO love the premise behind the song. Why do people have to be SO rude?

I’ve come to realize that blatant rudeness is just disrespect plain and simple. It shows lack of self control, lack of decency, lack of respect…just lack. I used to be attracted to rudeness, maybe because I thought it showed superiority in some way. I just assumed if the person was rude they had every right to be. Now, I see things very differently. I’m completely repelled by rudeness, it’s just not necessary. There are ways to do and confront hard things without being rude.

Turns out you can disagree with someone and not be rude. You can express your own personal opinion and not be rude. You can say “no” and not be rude. You can confront really hard issues and not be rude. People will respect you SO much more if you can express yourself, be yourself, stand up for yourself and NOT be rude. It may be extremely tempting to roll out the rudeness, but it’s just not necessary. It’s disrespectful.

If you disagree, express, decline, confront, or end something in a polite manner and the person is offended and angry, that’s their problem. You have every right to make decisions in your life and they do too. It’s HOW we navigate these situations that show respect for others and ourselves. Remember to respect yourself, we people pleasers have a very hard time with this one….

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23

Be you, be strong, but be POLITE! Thank you 🙂